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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in grimmy's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, February 10th, 2011
4:03 pm
Massive catch up post
I have had this livejournal for a long long looooong time but stopped posting in it over the last year or two thanks to internet issues/work commitments/little interest from others. But life has changed so much and so fast I feel it's important for me to go through my thoughts and experiences more, maybe I will feel less overwhelmed and flighty.
Let's catch up...

Extremely Long PostCollapse )

I am hopeful that things will improve and my life will settle down more over the next year or two. I think with concerted effort, persistence and patience Adam and I will build that life we are always wistfully dreaming of together, and maybe I can find a career I enjoy with good work life balance.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Thursday, September 11th, 2008
11:17 pm
Procrastinating whilst study for last huge nasty exam for my degree
This song is just so beautiful...

Dream (Priscilla Ahn)

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

Current Mood: busy
Wednesday, August 13th, 2008
9:09 pm
I am some sort of alive
only 6 more weeks and I can vaguely have a life again. For the first time in a year!!! Can't wait to be finished 3rd year!! *insert insane babbling*

Current Mood: stressed
Sunday, December 23rd, 2007
11:17 pm
101 things in 1001 days
Probably time I finally made another entry again! As usual it's been ages, can't believe how crazy my life has become. Despite having a fairly challenging and "character building" year, I managed to get through my exams and pass the half way mark of my medical degree. Hooray!! Can't believe how fast it's all flying by!
I have been inspired by firstredmoon  to write up a list of 101 things I would like to have done in 1001 days. I am a chronic list maker and never seem to ever get a whole list ticked off, so it's great to have the time frame here. So, here it is!
My ListCollapse )

Current Mood: contemplative
Tuesday, July 10th, 2007
12:09 am
times like these life is the pidgeon and I am most definitely the statue
Life has been pretty crappy lately. A few weeks ago we had several thousand stolen from our bank account via an ATM scam (be VERY wary of those machines), and then this weekend past we came home from a short stay in the country to find our house had been burgled. My long serving laptop is no more, along with all my data, photos, mp3s, EVERYTHING from the last 5 years. Not to mention all the work I had ever done throughout my medical degree. Feeling pretty rotten and violated, but on the upside I have discovered just how wonderful my uni friends up here are. I have one of them coming over tomorrow to help me get back into study mode (which I have been finding really hard), several are sending me their prized notes.... I just feel so valued. It's nice to know in a world filled with people that make a life of crime, there are still a few lovely selfless people around (and that especially goes for my fiance, he is my wonderful knight in shining armor... well, maybe not armor *lol*)
Got an exam in a week ... oh actually 6 days now I guess, that's weighing heavily on my mind in addition to turning my house into a fort. It's quite frustrating, we went to the country that night to try and give ourselves a bit of a break from the whole living in crazy Sydney and working stupidly hard thing, and it backfired completely, we're way more stressed out now *lol* Oh well, learn from me my friends, lock up your laptops, have all your pics and documents backed up regularly, you never know when you might just lose everything!

Current Mood: sad
Wednesday, June 27th, 2007
7:53 am

this is so true right now!
Friday, April 27th, 2007
10:56 pm
THE answer to all your cold desk chair needs
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she is such a character my crazy cat, she knows which seat you will want to sit on long before you will and will ensure it is warm hehe

posts have lessened a bit here btw due to me now also procrastinating on myspace (yes, I have done the proverbial sheep act, woo for band-wagoning, but I do seem to find an awful lot of old friends etc on there!!)

yes, I know that looks like sinner, but really, I am far too busy madly trying to learn 3 million random medical facts for my end of year massive evil exam to have time *lol*

so damn busy :S just a few months left until B (barrier) day!! And only 2 weeks until I have to give that scary speech at the ASC conference in Christchurch ARGH!! Actually, Im kinda looking forward to it in a way too, should prove a very interesting event at the very least.

Current Mood: working
Thursday, April 12th, 2007
6:30 pm
well, managed to get all my study group out of the way at least over the last two days, into the block one stuff now, but it seems to take me forever to knock anything on the head properly. The whole engagement announcement drama with mum has been giving me the shits, why can't she just be an adult, honestly. Of course I don't rank her last under everyone, she's my damn mother! I don't understand why my parents have to be so childish. My own sister publicly snubbed me at her wedding and I was twice as mature as my mother is being about her being told a day or two later than the other parents, purely because it was her and my sister's birthday the previous days, I was trying to respectful of their existence and not stomp all over it with mine. Argh! Its just so frustrating, and has totally spoiled an otherwise exciting weekend. So sick of these games I've had to play my whole life. Boo.

Current Mood: annoyed
Tuesday, April 10th, 2007
11:46 pm
Big News :)
Hey hey, can't remember the last time I properly posted. Really going to make a bit more of an effort, it would seem people who keep journals are far less likely to develop Alzheimer's, which is fairly nasty believe me!!!
I was in Melbourne over the weekend for a very special non-easter related purpose! I wasn't able to see any of my Melbourne buddies due to announcing to my family and Adam's family our recent engagement!!! You can imagine it was hard to find time away from family with that fresh in the air :)

{Incredibly soppy but wonderful engagement story to follow, skip on if this will truly make you hurl.}

Adam proposed whilst we were holidaying in the dreamy Whitsundays. It was the most perfect night a girl could want! The sun was gloriously setting, the moon was mysteriously rising, we were sitting at a specially prepared table out by the pool built out into the gentle lapping waters, acoustic love songs were on the summer breeze, it was just blissful. Adam and I had been talking about where we thought we were at prior to our holiday, but I was under the impression we weren't going down that road during this particular holiday to avoid potentially spoiling it, so I was fairly shocked and had to ask him to repeat his question when he looked up at me and said he wanted to start the new year together as an engaged couple, would I marry him (it was waaay more romantic than that, I can't do it justice!). There is no possible way I could say no to my best friend and absolute soul mate, and immediately wished I hadn't drunk quite so much of my favourite champas and sav blanc (which were there quite co-incidentally!!). It was honestly exactly the right time, we just couldn't fight such perfection! After we finished our wonderful meal (7 courses!!! Yum!) Adam took me over to our favourite water side beach hammock and asked me again, which was it for me, I was lost to happy tears (a new experience for me!) whilst we excitedly cuddled under the beautiful starry sky.

So we decided the next day we wanted to just keep our engagement our little secret for awhile and enjoy it for a month or two, which also gave us time to get a ring together (he hadn't wanted to guess as they are such personal things). It took us a few months but we eventually designed a truly gorgeous ring that I absolutely adore!! We were all ready to tell everyone when sadly Adam's grandmother passed away. We decided in respect for her we would wait until she was celebrated and laid to rest before telling our families the news, which was another month delay. I told my dad when he came to visit a few weeks ago, and was shit scared what he would say, being the preacher of how horrid his marriage was and how he will never do it again. Fortunately my fears were unfounded, as everyone can see how perfectly Adam and I work together, and how carefully we have stepped through the progression of our relationship. Adam's dad was easy a week later. The mother's and siblings/other rellies were informed this easter weekend past. Adam's mum and her partner had been hinting to us we should get married for some time now, so they were thrilled, both cried which was really touching. I told my mob on the Sunday before we left (that was the only day I could due to all their birthdays being during the week, I didn't want to detract from their days!!). Everyone was happy and lots of hugs and MORE booze ensued. I swear, I am off alcohol for the rest of the month! My mum was a bit grumpy that she was the last to know, but I believe I did things the right way with all the millions of complications we had to dodge and wiggle around! Sometimes you just can't win I guess!!
So yes, engagement party will happen at some stage (probably two or three considering we live interstate and my two sides won't interact unless tied together).

We are looking at a December wedding in 2008 at this stage, it's super complicated with all my assessments and stuff, the entire format of next year at my uni is being changed as we speak, so everything is very much up in the air until they make up their wiggly minds! Its all very exciting though!! In an attempt to reduce traveling, costs and distraction we have decided to hire a wedding organizer to do all the hard work for us so we can do the extent of planning and stuff from here in Sydney. Interviewed a few people whilst in Melb to get an idea of personalities, which we think is most important. It's nuts how much weddings cost, truly crazy!! A simple bunch of roses which would be $20 at a florist are $120 if you mention wedding!!! Argh! Family tensions on my side have already started stirring, but I'm not going to let any of that crap spoil things, even if I have to go to radical measure to avoid it!!! *firm nod of defiance to family evilness that has spoiled every celebration to date*

THE table (all the others were blue)
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The view to my right
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The view infront of me :)
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The sun set was beautiful
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

more pics at my myspace (http://www.myspace.com/clairesinnerspace) soon

Current Mood: thoughtful
Monday, April 2nd, 2007
5:54 pm
I be procrastinating!

# Favourite Color: purple and silver
# Favourite Food: chocolate, pizza, stone fruits, fresh baked home made bread
# Favourite Month: Oct/Nov and feb/march.
# Favourite Song: well I have several, but I do love Bliss and Unintended by Muse.
# Favourite Movie: again lots, Monty Python is always good, enjoyed What Dreams May Come, The Crow is a fav, American Beauty, Bourne movies, Garden State, just lots!!
# Favourite Sport: prolly recreational mountain bike riding, hang gliding, hiking
# Favourite Season: early summer
# Favourite Day of the week: weekends with Adam, where we just hang out in the backyard, also days with my friends at the beach are fun
# Favourite Ice Cream Flavor: good qual white chocolate, oh and there was this kinder chocolate flavour I found the other day, drool-o-liscious!
# Favourite Time of Day: twilight


# Current Mood: a little agitated, just found out I have no one to look after the cat this weekend and may have to set her up with an auto feeder (Argh!!! Noooooo!)
# Current Taste: venetion biscuit
# Current Clothes: worn out green pants, blue vee neck tee shirt and my brown converse-eque sneakers
# Current Desktop: an x-ray of Adam's torso to which I have thrown creative juices at to make a funky yet medical looking backdrop
# Current Toenail Color: au naturale
# Current Time: 6:10pm
# Current Surroundings: In the study (which I really need to tidy), dwarfed by piles of text books and lecture notes
# Current Thoughts: Didn't get half enough study done today, need to water the seedlings, what the hell are we going to make for dinner, who do I know who is available to check in on the cat??


# First Best Friend: Suzannah, we had a strange friendship with lots of on's and off's, probably because I was mostly used to being friends with boys after 3 years of kindergarten and then being thrown into an all girls school.
# First Kiss: Ken, I think I was about 13 or so. Silly kids.
# First Screen Name: possibly knightrider, I know I used grimmy a lot too
# First Pet: My own first pet was a little black and white bunny called Terry. After his rather rapid death from a cold I decided bunnies weren't really for me, too easily sickened.
# First Piercing: ear lobes, took me four years to convince my mother I could look after pierced ears. Had the wrong effect I think, as now I have 6 ear piercings (no longer all used).
# First Crush: ooo, prolly Mark Madden, my next door neighbour, we used to go rollerblading and climb trees together.
# First CD: *lol* someone bought me the X files soundtrack, which I must admit I did enjoy for quite some time


# Last Cigarette: oh boy, 2001, some sugary balinese thing I got passed. Not into cigs blergh
# Last Drink: I had a coffee about a hour ago (a la Adam), alcohol wise I had a heap of strangely peppery cask wine (I know I know) with my mate Jade on Sat night.
# Last Car Ride: yesterday, off to my favourite place in the world Bunnings with my man :) We're re-doing the garden.
# Last Kiss: About four minutes ago, for helping him de-stress with a cuddle :)
# Last Movie Seen: Fight Club was the last DVD, Stranger than Fiction (fabulous!!) was the last movie movie
# Last Phone Call: To dad to organise a day to see him while Im in Melbourne ever so briefly during the long weekend
# Last CD Played: well I had three on random yesterday whilst gardening; VAST - nude, My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade, Filter - Title of Record


# Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends: I am often really good buddies with the person before I consider them as a potential partner, but generally not long enough for them to have been a BEST friend. Adam is my bestest bestest friend of course. All my non-in-relationship I suppose best friends are female, and being straight that makes them unlikely to be relationship candidates lol
# Have You Ever Broken the Law: I accidentally drove through a red light once, and I zoned out on a tram once and didn't get my ticket fast enough and so ended up with a fine. Nothing much really. And can't afford to, I wouldn't be able to practise medicine with a criminal record!!!
# Have You Ever Been Arrested: nope
# Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: not that I can remember, though knowing me most likely several times
# Have You Ever Been on TV: yep, Johnny Young did a close up of me dressed up as a clown. My mother recorded some who dunnit over the tape a few years back.
# Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn’t Know: yep


# Things You’re Wearing: clothes and a few bits of jewelery (all from my man heee)
# Things You’ve Done Today: slept in, cuddled, ate breakfast, filled out scholarship request forms, watered pot plants and new garden bed and seedlings, ate some tortillas and a pear, helped Adam out with some goals, started downloading every lecture I am supposed to know, went for a walk to post aforementioned scholarship thingies, more cuddles, sketching and diagrams with my new tablet thingy (its funtastic)
# Things You Can Hear Right Now: whirring of my rather warm laptop, Adam typing away at his pooter (it's going "bonk" occasionally, oh it just went "bonky bonk"), cars on the street, a few crickets
# Things You Can’t Live Without: sleep, laughter, good food, Adam's smile and cuddles, my cat, music
# Things You Do When You’re Bored: waste time online, watch stupid crap on TV, nap, watch DVDs, bake, get fidgety and even grumpy, realise I have shit loads of work to do so I shouldnt be bored!


# bedroom
# bathroom
# kitchen
# laundry
# back yard
# garage
# carport
# up to the post box
# to the convenience store


Adam, who knows just about everything there is to know about me, good and bad. My little sister almost to that point, I tend to edit it a little for fear of retribution on her part!


# Black or White: black
# Hot or Cold: hot :)


# graduate from my medical degree
# live in the country
# have a family (and somehow keep it together despite how unlikely it is statistically)
# feel fulfilled
Sunday, October 22nd, 2006
4:24 pm
Image Icon results:

Main Type
Overall Self
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Scale (|||||||%) results:

Enneagram Test Results
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||||| 78%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||| 46%
Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||| 34%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||| 60%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||| 58%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||| 30%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||| 34%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||| 62%
Your main type is 1
Your variant is social
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
3:13 pm
oh wow, it has been far too long since i last updated (what's new). Well, I am crazy busy at the moment! The major life event for me would be that Adam and I have gotten a place together up here in Sydney, a lovely little townhousey-duplexy thing in Westmead, walking distance from the hospital and the station. I still can't beleive he is moving up here to be with me, I am so incredibly lucky! I've never been in a relationship where someone else is wiling to make big sacrifices before, it's such a different dynamic! Im glad I went through the demanding and destructive one's in a way though, it means I really appreciate what I have with Adam and know to value it as such. The furniture arrived via three lovely removal guys all the way from Melb, the house is already starting feel wonderfully homely. I haven't felt like I've had a home all year, living in college is kind of like being on a seemingly endless school camp, with me in the usual role of social outcast/satelite. Some days I really am so happy school is all over, but then again, I used to get to see my small but close bunch of wonderfully quirky friends each day, whereas now Im lucky to see them a few times a year. I have been mostly hand moving my stuff from my college room to Westmead via my trusty suitcase and a backpack. Very very slow process, but Im getting there. Wednesday is my last day here, so if I haven't managed to move it all by then I will take the remainder in a very expensive taxi.
Ug, so tired, all this running around! On Friday I started off in Camberwell Vic, by 10am I was at the Vic airport, by 12pm I was at Syd airport, by 1pm I was in Maquarie park NSW for a job interview (venepuncture woo!!), by 3pm I was in lectures, by 6pm I was at a Sancta Senior dinner thingy, by 10 I was at the RPA clinical school party, and then at Dawn on sat I was in Westmead preparing for the removalists. AARRRGGGHH! Totally hanging out for my holiday with Adam in November, Im running out of energy!! :S
I have my last exam for the year on the 17th of November, which is pretty exciting! Im going to spend most of the holidays which follow studying and working and spending quality time with Adam, with a few visits to Melb slipped in so I can see my various Melb people. I'll also be spending a few weeks doing my paediatric surgery option at the Children's Hospital Westmead, which I will be pretty much treating as a tester as to whether I will undertake honours with this particular supervisor next year. Should be intersting at the very least! :)
Ug, Im driving my lovely cat up from Melbourne next weekend. Its going to be a very long 12 hours or so, I hope we can comfort her sufficiently to get through the drive without scaring her too much. She is not a well travelled puss. I was considering putting her on a plane and getting her here faster, but she will freak out even more without Adam or I there, plus they go in the noisiest part of the plane, Im concerned she'll panic to the point of injury. Im going to have a chat to one of the vet people here at the uni vet clinic and see what they can tell me to help her. Can't wait until this time next week, its all done and I can just focus on my upcoming exam and holiday.
Oh well, better get ready to head back off to Westmead with yet another incredibly heavy suitcase :S


Current Mood: tired
Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
7:26 pm
To do this evening:
~ Procrastinate (achieved)
~ draw and familiarise myself with all the muscles and major vessels and nerves of the lower lower limbs
~ mechanism of osteoporosis and skin cancer
~ big long chat with Adam
~ watch silly medical shows
~ go to bed early for a change

To do tomorrow:
~ try and get up in time for breakfast
~ revise anatomy again
~ officeworks for files and photos
~ big long shower
~ study planner for next few weeks
~ email chairs
~ get name of doctor and skin cancer clinic from Claire and try to get appointments
~ compile block one cases into aformentioned files
~ go drool at some shoes
~ compile data for centrelink issues
~ run through Elijah flute part for orchestra performance
~ see Mum and Gareth
~ perform very long Elijah

Current Mood: sleepy
1:49 am
I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Perhaps its just imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night
From overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
THAT I know will be alright
It's just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night, my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Current Mood: awake
1:01 am
THEY KILLED NATE!!!! (six feet under if you were all thinking i've gone nuts)
Friday, May 26th, 2006
11:59 pm
Im in a rutt, rutty rutty rutt

Current Mood: morose
Wednesday, May 10th, 2006
8:20 pm
Oh yay for getting sick from being given a damn vaccine!!

Current Mood: pissed off
Tuesday, May 9th, 2006
6:29 pm
yay for procrastination
gacked from [info]firstredmoon:

1. Reply with your name and I will write something random about you.
2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I will tell you my first memory of you.
6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll then ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your LJ (please).

Current Mood: bored
Thursday, May 4th, 2006
6:06 pm
Started a food journal (ClairesEats) just for the hell of it today. Im also hunting out a pair of knee high dark reddy brown boots, I'll know when I see them! Had to take my ipod in for repairs :( Will be getting a replacement one next week.

Current Mood: contemplative
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006
2:49 pm
Im a bad girl. Damn procrastination. Why am I so scared of making phonecalls???

Gacked from G

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"damn braces"

2. When is the next time you will have sex?

3. What's a word that rhymes with "FUCK"?

4. Favorite planet?

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
*Lol* (no number), Adam above, Magda below

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
Ghostbusters (silly Claire), though Slim Shady is funny as

7. What shirt are you wearing?
Pink polo top (the breast cancer one Ralph Lauren did). "on loan" from Ali hehe

8. Do you "label" yourself?
I have no idea

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright as bright when studying, reading, pooter; mood lit most other times. Dark when sleeping

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Gauri is one of my fav people :) <iss her and the stranglies :( 12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on? the one nearest the window or cleanest looking one :p 13. What were you doing at midnight last night? in my room at college chatting away to a very sleepy Adam 14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say? "I've sent you an email babe, with some encouraging facts" *lol* so out of context.. tis regarding Adam potentially transferring to Syd 15. Who is the coolest person in your life? definetly my incredible sister Alison, she is so amazing! Miss her so very much 16. What's a word that you say a lot? no worries, hey, eep, yay... 17.Who told you he/she loved you last? Adam 18. Last furry thing you touched? This guys leg whilst at my clinical day at the hospital on Monday. Yay reflexes 19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? the closest I get is caffiene, which would be this morning whilst catching up with a Deakinite! 20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? none, too broke for proper photography these days 21. Favorite age you have been so far? Im going to have to say late 22, my whole life changed :) Mostly for the better 22. Your worst enemy? learnt not to consider anyone as such, waste of energy 23. What is your current desktop picture? *lol* this incredible scan of Adam's torso (bones people) which I have made look all matrix-ey using photoshop. Very apt 24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Hey what's up?" when a college girl peeked around my door hehe 25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you take? Fly, in some of my favourite dreams I could fly, it was great. Plus, other than planes etc, a million bucks can get you that. I don't have a big value on money anyway, a means to an end, people and experiences are my drive 26. Do you like someone? if by like one means in a non-platonic sense, yes, Adam otherwise I guess my college buddies Cat and Claire (no, not my alter ego), and med friends Jade and Sarah 27. The last song you listened to? Angel's Punishment by Lacuna Coil (interesting band, great vocals and guitar) 28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, what would you do? Well, I have no idea about her other than that she is from Canada, I'd prolly yell for her to get down and if possible pull her behind something if she has gone all rabbit. People who matter to me I would not hesitate to jump infront of. Regardless Id be there to help if injured, yay medical knowledge! 29. If you could punch 1 person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be? hmm, no, I don't see me doing that to anyone at this stage 30. What is the closest object to your left foot? my other pooter's tower, which I really should put my other hard drive into so I can play with my old files!

Current Mood: indifferent
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